Ask Alma: Dealing with an ungrateful facebook friend in real life
By Alma Gill
NNPA Columnist
Dear Alma:
I have a friend that shares everything in their life on Facebook. This friend’s car has broken down on several occasions, with the latest repair costing $2,700; this friend also seems to have many issues with landlords and significant others. Despite my friend’s personal trials, they have risen to become an expert in their field.
Recently, I had the chance to recommend this friend for a freelance assignment, that perfectly fit their expertise. The friend did not thank me directly, but I saw a Facebook post about the job, so I assumed the friend was happy to get it. A week or so later, I saw two more posts about the job; one post said that the job was “difficult,” and another that described the job as “boring.”
I was a little offended. I wouldn’t have cared if this “friend” complained privately about the assignment; journalists complain all the time about a range of things and for different reasons. But putting it out on Facebook seemed a little ungrateful. What should I say to them?
Signed,
Just Trying to Help
Dear Trying to Help,
What should you say to your friend? Nothing, nada, zilch. Don’t be offended. Honey chil’, you can lead a horse to water, but it ain’t your place to tell it how to drink. I know. You had good intentions and you also hold this friend in high regard, but, be that as it may, your friend still lacks basic courtesy and common correctness. You should have received at the very least a “thank you” text. I’m not surprised, though; God doesn’t give us everything. I have found that many people, who swim in a well of book knowledge, lack the fundamental nitty-gritties of niceties. Some people feel the need to share everything on social media. What is that about? I think that people who feel compelled to share every “mood cough” and “mind hiccup” on Facebook, are surely exhibiting some sign of mental deficiency. The “cuckoo for cocoa puffs” constant displays of desperation can be mindboggling.
If you don’t mind me saying, I think you’re a bit disappointed. This friend, as you say “repeatedly runs into personal difficulties.” Um, back in the day, we’d call someone like that a leech. Today, you get to view their shenanigans online, up close and personal. You’ve placed this person higher on your “ladder of success” than they should have been. Don’t fret. It happens.
I say, scratch ‘em off your Christmas list and keep it moving. You did a nice thing and Ms. Karma will make sure you’re blessed for it. Continue to follow your friend on Facebook, but keep your comments and suggestions to a minimum. Here’s the bottom line: that nickel had poor home training, which, unfortunately, lasts much longer than any lessons learned in a classroom. Like my mama used to say, “if good manners and common sense were free, some folks still couldn’t afford to buy them.” LOL.
Alma Gill’s newsroom experience spans more than 25 years, including various roles at USA Today, Newsday and The Washington Post. Email questions to: alwaysaskalma@gmail.com. Follow her on Facebook at “Ask Alma” and Twitter @almaaskalma.
