Against the grain II

Being Black in Florida is itself a strain on your mental health

My grandfather implored me not to make excuses. My father simply would not accept any excuse. I was expected to make a way for my family basically from the time I was born. I was reared to be a man, lead a household, be a good citizen and not to expect anything from anyone in the process. That foundation has driven me for 56 years.

For the most part, I try to keep my head down and go about being a good citizen, a good father, a good husband, and a good businessman. I work hard for a reason; because I can’t accept mediocrity in the way I present myself or my business. Granddaddy Zack or father Roosevelt would not accept anything less.

The last few years have been trying and downright stressful, though. The level of alert I had to be on for my family during the Trump presidency was unfathomable. The attacks on Blacks and the lack of empathy from the White House were only superseded by the appearance of their support for these treacherous targeting of Black males. 

Having to watch my son go to work or school on a daily basis and praying that nothing happens to him, even though we went over the routine 1,000 times on how to react to being addressed by law enforcement, was just stressful. Some days after bad days of news, I literally shed tears understanding what he could possibly be facing.

It got worse. Sadly, after so much targeting of presumably innocent Black males, he’d had enough. He had become semi-militant in his thoughts on law enforcement. This struck the core of my mental state. The notion that in a situation he might lose it concerned me to the point that it began to take a toll physically on me. Fortunately, he got over that mode shortly and I could breathe somewhat easier in his absence.

The sad reality is that I deal with all races on a daily basis. My business works with and for people of all races. I tried never to carry the disdain for the emerging White supremacists and Republican extremists who were perpetrating the racial hatred. It took a toll because you never knew who carried these deplorable objectives with them in a covert manner. I just had to trust God.

Fortunately for me, my discernment of friends has led me to a multi-racial cadre of friends that are friends of my family. Their support has helped me and my family through the pandemic of COVID-19 and the pandemic of racial targeting.

It’s tough not to always sound like a victim when it comes to this.  Often we don’t say anything. Keeping it in only makes the mental strain worse. Often times the best thing is to call it out where it is and move forward.

Today, we are dealing with the dissolution or discrediting of unions, an unreasonable abortion ban, a communist-like retraction of books from libraries and the removal of the very diversity initiatives put in place to counter the exclusion of Blacks for so long. 

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is literally doing at a rapid pace, everything he said he would do in his campaign promises.  If you are on his side you applaud him.  If you are on the wrong side of his politics, well step aside as he moves at a bulldozer’s pace with the majority in the Florida House and Senate at his side.

Talking to friends, several of us are mentally tired. Our families are tired. Unfortunately, the trickle-down effect has seen a robust jump in the mental disparities in our children. Dr. Ken Fowler, who is a family and mental health counselor, has said that the number of youth seeking counseling has soared.

That statement by Fowler is key in many ways, but especially for Black clients. Blacks have ignored or pushed aside the reality of mental health for far too long.  If it is to the point where Blacks and others (as Fowler has a multicultural clientele) are publicly seeking help, it is an indication that many feel they’ve come to the point where they can’t help themselves and they need professional assistance.

Fortunately, the Black community seems to finally be accepting the importance of mental health.  A focus never seen before has been placed on the mental health of school children and college students. FAMU and FSU have extensive resources aimed at aiding student mental health. Even some churches are starting to bring it to the forefront. Too long have we in the Black community been subjugated by poor mental health. Black Floridians must take seriously and address the well-being of our mental health.